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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24463306">Holding on to You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/C4t1l1n4/pseuds/C4t1l1n4'>C4t1l1n4</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Quarantine Drabbles [20]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel's True Form (Supernatural), Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Season/Series 13 compliant, Possessed Dean Winchester, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, fuck michael, not Season/Series 14 compliant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:08:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,384</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24463306</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/C4t1l1n4/pseuds/C4t1l1n4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean says yes to Michael, he gets a glance of Castiel's true form and discovers that Cas is in love with him. He is promptly whisked away by Michael and Dean has to fight his way back to Cas so he can tell him it's not unrequited. </p><p>Way angstier (and longer) than I intended, with a little fluff at the end.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Quarantine Drabbles [20]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1711075</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Holding on to You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Yes.”</p><p>And that’s all it takes. Dean’s body is flooding with angelic power, the Alternate Universe Michael taking his place within a vessel truly designed for him, filling every crack and corner with celestial intent. In the seconds between Michael inhabiting his body and flying away with a flap of his wings, Dean gets a look at Cas. </p><p>Cas, who he can now see in all his angelic glory without hurting himself, looks upset and broken. </p><p>What remains of the angel’s wings, sparsely scattered with feathers, droop, dragging against the floor. The look he receives from the multitude of heads is one that pierces Dean’s heart and makes him wish he could comfort him if he didn’t have more pressing matters at hand. And he almost misses it, but he manages to catch the way Cas reaches out, with both his wings and his vessel’s arms, longing for him not to go. </p><p>But Dean is already standing in that church, spreading his wings in front of Lucifer, ending him once and for all.</p><p>It’s only after the battle is won that his mind thinks back to Cas again, and he hears Michael’s voice in his head. <em>“You stupid human.”</em> The voice rings falsely saccharine, turning into a snarl in the end. <em>“Do you only realize now that Castiel loves you?”</em> </p><p>The realization hits the hunter like a pile of bricks, and he feels like his legs might’ve fallen out from right underneath him if he wasn’t hosting an angel. </p><p><em>“After all he’s done for you.”</em> Michael mocks again. Dean can vaguely tell that Sam and Jack are standing next to him, asking him questions, but he’s too caught up inside his own head, with what Michael is saying to respond. <em>“I know your thoughts. I know everything that you do, maybe even more. I can tell that you…”</em> Michael spits out the last couple of words like it’s disgusting, <em>“love him too.”</em> The tone grows smugger with every passing word and Dean can already tell he doesn’t like where this is going. <em>“But he thinks his pitiful love is unrequited.”</em> There’s a pause, and Dean can feel Michael moving, tensing, and raising his wings. <em>“And I’m going to make him think that for as long as I can.”</em></p><p>Dean’s sharp cry of “We had a deal!” is the last thing that happens before they fly away, leaving a bewildered Jack and a defeated Sam in the church, alone. </p><p>They land someplace Dean doesn’t recognize, but he doesn’t really care because he’s forcing himself to sit down wherever he is, taking as much control over his body as he can, and not moving. “We had a deal, asshole and I’m not letting you go back on your word.” Dean grows out loud, directing his anger at Michael to keep himself in control. The angel tries to say something back, but Dean doesn’t let him, and focuses solely on the things around him, on the things he can feel. </p><p>He pulls his phone out of his pocket, concentrating on how smooth it feels in his hands, listens to each beep as he dials his brother’s number, saying each number out loud as he presses them. He drops it to the concrete as it rings and finally takes in his surroundings as he waits for Sam to answer. “You better pick up, Sam,” Dean says through gritted teeth to no-one in particular. He counts the rings and scans the area he’s sitting in. He’s on the sidewalk in some town, but there aren't that many people, and no one seems particularly bothered that he’s there, grabbing onto the leg of the metal bench he’s sitting next to. </p><p>“Dean?” A worried but hesitant voice filters through his phone, drawing his attention back to the situation at hand.</p><p>“Sam?” Dean calls back, a bit harsher and more frantic than intended. </p><p>“Are you okay?” </p><p>“‘M fine. I don’t know where I am. Just, track my phone and come get me.” Dean says, not wanting to get too distracted. He can hear Michael in the back of his mind and is trying to decide whether ignoring him or engaging with him is the best option. </p><p>“Okay, Dean. Just hang in there. We’re on our way.”  Sam promises.</p><p>“Oh, Sam?” Dean says, catching him right as he was about to hang up, the urgency in his voice welling up to the point of almost panic. “Bring Cas.”</p><p>And with that, Dean ends the call. </p><p>He stares at the black screen, phone laying near his crossed feet. Michael says something, and Dean doesn’t really catch what it was but he thinks he heard something about Cas so he tells the angel to shut up. He blinks, looking up across the street at a shop, and then the next thing he knows, he’s staring at his feet where his phone lays, cracked. </p><p>Dean doesn’t say anything, but Michael’s laughter rattling around in his head is enough. <em>“They can’t find you if your contraption is broken.”</em> He croons with glee. </p><p>Dean turns it on, checking to see it still worked before turning it off again. Tightening his grip on the metal leg of the bench, he gently tosses the phone out of reach. He sighs and longs to close his eyes and sleep, but resolutely remains awake. </p><p>He isn’t sure how long it’ll take them to get here, how long it’s been since he called Sam, or what time it is in general, but his stomach growls and Dean huffs, leaning against the bench. He hears footsteps stop in front of him and he jerks his head up but is met by an unfamiliar face. </p><p>“Hey, are you alright?” A woman asks, look at him concerned. Dean is filled with some archaic urge to make his eyes glow and flash his wings, but he settles for squinting at her suspiciously. She squats down so she’s no longer leering above him and he relaxes. She holds out her hands to show that she has nothing in them and means no harm. “I’m just trying to help.” She reassures, “I work over there,” She points across the street to grocery store Dean hadn’t noticed earlier, “and I noticed that you’ve been sitting out here for like, 3 hours.”</p><p>“3 Hours?” Dean exclaims, caught off guard. The lady looks at him, concerned once more. “Where did-“ Dean starts to direct his question at Michael, but quickly stops himself and turns his attention back to the lady in front of him. “Where are we?” </p><p>“Oklahoma, not too far from the Kansas border.” </p><p>Dean lets out of a sigh of relief. “Ok, not too far from home then.” He isn’t quite sure where the church their showdown with Lucifer was, but it gives him hope that he won’t have to wait too much longer. “I’m just waiting here for my family to come pick me up,” He explains “I got.. dumped here” malice starts to creep into his voice, but he takes a moment to still himself before continuing. “Wasn’t in the plan.”</p><p>The woman nods like she understands and opens her mouth to say something else, but gets cut off as Dean’s stomach growls again. “Sorry,” Dean apologizes, suddenly bashful and ashamed. “I don’t know when’s the last time I ate.”</p><p>“Oh, well that I can help with.” She straightens into a standing position. “Let me grab you a sandwich or something.” She gestures vaguely back in the direction of the store she works at.</p><p>“That would be great, actually.”</p><p>“Ok, do you want anything else?”</p><p>“Maybe some coffee? I’m trying not to fall asleep.”</p><p>“I’ll be back in a second.” She promises, scampering across the street. </p><p>Dean watches her go. “Pathetic.” The word is out of his mouth before he even realizes he wasn’t the one to say it. Dean reaches his free hand up and threads his fingers through his hair, clutching at the side of his head. </p><p>“Dude, not cool.” Dean chastises. </p><p>“All of this sitting has me restless. I’m regaining my strength. I do not know why you didn’t cast me out already, as I know that is your plan.” Michael points out, but the image of Cas with wings stretched out towards him flickers to the front of his mind and Michael laughs, spitting out the word again. “Pathetic.”</p><p>“Shut up.” </p><p>Dean spots the lady walking back across the street, hands full, when Michael suddenly tugs on his left arm, trying to pull his hand off the bench leg. Dean immediately fights back, tensing to keep his grip firm, and Michael stops. The momentum Dean had kept going, and he ends up slamming himself into the armrest, Michael cackling in his head. </p><p>“Are you okay?” The woman is right next to him now, placing the coffee and sandwich on the ground, eyes filling with concern once again at the sight of blood running down from his temple. </p><p>Dean gives her a tired smile. “Perfect.” </p><p>He’s thankful that she’s pick up on the fact that he doesn’t want to talk about it, and turns her attention back to the food. “Okay, so I brought a ham and cheese sandwich and black coffee.”</p><p>Dean snatches up the sandwich and practically groans in appreciation. “This is exactly what I needed. Thank you.” </p><p>She nods, smiling. “My break is about to be over soon, do you need anything else?</p><p>“Yeah, uh... What time is it?” </p><p>She looks down at her watch, squinting in the looming darkness to see. “8:49.”</p><p>Dean holds up the sandwich and dips his head in gratitude. “Thank you.”</p><p>Michael doesn’t bother him while he’s eating, and Dean isn’t sure whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but he basks in the silence nonetheless. He steadily makes his way through the sandwich and the cup of coffee, sufficiently full when he’s done. Michael doesn’t act up again until he hears the squeal of tires, headlights illuminating his face. </p><p>So that’s how they find him, surrounded by sandwich wrappers and empty coffee cups, eyes tired, still clinging on to that metal bench. </p><p>The Impala is left running, headlights lighting up the dark nighttime air, Sam jumping out of the driver’s seat, cautiously advancing towards his brother. Cas and Jack are hot on his heels, and the trio stops a couple of feet away. </p><p>“Dean, is that you?” Sam calls.</p><p>Dean nods tiredly. </p><p>Cas takes a step forward, “Michael, is he…?” </p><p>And suddenly, with strength Michael didn't have before, Dean is ripped from his sitting position, grabbing Cas by the lapels of his trench coat and slamming him against the brick wall of the building behind them. “I’m right here.” </p><p>His eyes glow blue, and Sam immediately draws his gun, though Michael doesn’t seem worried, he knows Sam won’t shoot his brother. </p><p>“Pathetic.” Michael snarls once more, right in Cas’s face, pressing him harder against the wall, blood from the cut on Dean’s hand staining the fabric of his trench coat. “Absolutely pathetic. Poor excuse for an ang-“</p><p>“I said, Shut up!” Dean yells, his grip going lax, head falling against Cas’s chest. There’s silence, only filled by the sound of heavy breathing, but when Dean moves again, it’s to take a step back, looking up at Cas with green eyes. </p><p>He takes another step back, now only about an arms length away from him, and nobody moves. Dean looks him up and down once and his heart breaks in the process. Even like this, fucked up and possessed by another angel, Cas is reaching out for him. His wings are almost fully extended, angled as if they want to wrap around him, to provide his comfort even as they sag, hanging heavily from his shoulders with the weight of the hunter’s decision. He can see the way that a multitude of eyes focus on only him as if he’s worth all the attention he’s being shown. He takes note that the rest of the eyes either focus on Sam or Jack, and even fewer are on constant surveillance of their surroundings.</p><p>A broken, watery smile finds its way onto Dean’s face and he draws Cas forward into a hug, turning to bury his face in his neck. Dean takes Michael’s wings- no - <em>his</em> wings and wraps them around the other angel. He pulls back a bit to watch Cas’s reaction, to let him know it’s intentional.</p><p>“I love you,” Dean whispers, and Cas’s eyes widen like he didn’t expect it. Dean doesn’t know whether he should cry or laugh. “Of course I love you.” And with that, he leans in, kissing Cas gently and sweetly. He barely even registers Sam and Jack standing off to the side, cheering them on. “I need you to know that.”</p><p>Begrudgingly, he removes his wings and steps back from Cas once more. “Alright, now, the problem at hand.” </p><p>He closes his eyes, thinking about Michael, focusing on where he feels the angel residing in his head. “Get. Out.” </p><p>“You think you can kick me out?” Michael cackles in response. </p><p>His eyes glow once more, but Dean quickly cuts back in. “I know exactly how.” An angel blade slides down from his sleeve, the cool metal heavy in his hand. “Jack, wanna help?” The Nephilim takes a curious step forward. “I don’t know if this will help, but I figure, you’re a little low on grace.” He takes the blade and makes a slit on his throat, Michael’s grace flowing out of his body and into Jack’s. And just when there’s barely enough left, he nods at Jack who heals him. </p><p>“Now,” Dean turns his attention back to Michael. “You poor excuse for an angel. Get. OUT!” </p><p>No longer strong enough to resist Dean’s command, Michael is ejected from Dean’s body, and Jack uses his newfound powers to crush what’s left of him. Dean immediately collapses, but Cas is there to catch him. </p><p>“Dean!” The angel cries his name urgently, helping him back into a standing position. </p><p>“I’m fine.” He reassures.</p><p>He looks at Cas again, and can’t see any more than his bright blue eyes and bloodied trench coat, but with the way he helps Dean limp to the Impala and presses himself against his side as they nestle in the backseat, Dean knows it’ll be enough.</p>
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